Multi-Family Vacations Plus Anxiety
I find most people to only post and write about the best parts of their vacation. This seems normal, but I am not normal, so I am going to give you the good, the bad, and the cry fest of my latest vacation. Let’s begin with the good. For starters, my friend Richard organized it. Richard is one of those friends who is creative and funny and spontaneous and extroverted. He is the type of guy who might wake up in the morning and decide to go scuba diving or even fly an airplane. I am so jealous of his adventure-like self and I am surprised we have been friends as long as we have, because I am basically one of those risk analyst types like Ben Stiller plays in Along Came Polly.
As life would have it, Richard was unable to join us on the trip because of family needs and so we were left with my four person get up, my best friend plus 3 and my friends from high school plus 4 kiddos. I have attached a picture of the adult crew and I’m sure you can pick out the weakest link.
If you are planning a trip to the Outerbanks , I am going to give you so may tips, it will knock your socks off. You don’t even have to watch the Netflix show to go, I promise!
Tip Number One: Do not drive hours and hours directly from a track meet. You will be hot and dirty and sweaty from the track meet and this may suck a little, but if you gotta, you gotta, so still go.
Tip Number Two: Please listen carefully sweet reader. If you have secured a house that is on the beach and I’m talking like a few miles in on the beach, please do not bring your Toyota Highlander. Sure it has a function that says mud and sand. I think that button is meant for a toddler playing in the mud and sand. When my husband took my Highlander on the beach, I stopped breathing for a good 14 minutes. I know my anxiety is what some would call extreme, but as soon as that Highlander began hitting the sand and I could feel every crack and crevice by the time the girl hopped up and came back to Earth, I literally felt like we were going to drive right off the edge of the Earth itself.
Have you ever hopped on a roller coaster and you said to yourself I”m trying to impress my boyfriend, or my friends, or my drug dealer. Whoever it is and you say here I am on this roller coaster, look at me doing daring things. Then you take off and all of a sudden you are going upside down and backwards and some kind of Aerosmith song is playing. When the roller coaster stops, you clutch your chest and retrieve your sweaty ass sunglasses and you say to yourself well at least I don’t have to do THAT AGAIN. In this case, the beach was the roller coaster and I did have to do it again, just to at least go home.
On the day that we ventured out to go to Duck Donuts which my impending panic attack would not let me consume, but I’m sure were pretty good, the beach was even rougher than normal. Every time my Tina Toyota would go over a sand hump, I could hear a scraping on the bottom. Those of you who have anxiety can join me in the next sensation. When you start to panic, anxiety just becomes louder in your mind and shame climbs onto that pyramid too. So by the time we reached the tire station (that is the other thing, you gotta inflate and deflate those tires super driver!) and I could see some kinda carpet looking thing dragging on the floor underneath my car, I went over and just had a good ol fashioned melt down and I mean I’m talking a good one. Was this difficult in a multi-family adventure day? Sure. Was I ashamed? 100 percent. In my head, all I could hear was:
“you just ruined your car, you don’t have enough money to pay for the ruined car, why didn’t you read the blogs, this is not the kind of car you take on the beach, look at all your friends and their assembled cars and the donuts they are eating. You really suck. Why is everyone able to have a good time and you are like Sally Fields in Mrs. Doubtfire sucking the fun out the room.” This was my self talk right then. Sigh.
In the moment, I did what all panic attackers do and that is to text my sisters. 911 text straight away. My younger sister is extremely purposeful with these texts and she just basically told me to either rent a vehicle or she would call with her credit card and rent one for me. Since she just had a baby and is on maternity leave, this gave me the bravery to discuss the options with my better half. We both called mechanics and rental places and that is how we landed in the pictured yellow jeep that goes a heck of a lot better on the sand , then the former vehicle. I am saving you a head ache by letting you know that you should just go ahead and rent the vehicle, rather than sit on the side of the road crying into your donut container.
Tip Number 3: Bring your own water. The house water on Corolla Beach smells like bad eggs and acid reflux. You need to truck a whole lotta water in, and buy it from Walmart and not the Food Lyon right beside the beach. We are talking large jugs, not a cute six pack of water, you might grab when you and your boyfriend are going on a late night date. You are living in a beach house people, with lot’s of kids! We have coffee to make, people have CPAP machines, some are going to want to do the tortilla challenge. So yes don’t neglect your water haul.
Tip Number 4: Get up early, walk outside your beach house and run on the beach. I am not a fast runner, but I am training for a half marathon and there is absolutely nothing like running on that beach. It is so beautiful, the sand is hard on your calves, but feels great on your hip flexors. Everyone is recalibrating that you will see. Some men are doing yoga, others are setting up their day for fishing. Some are holding hands and starting a new relationship, some women are walking out into the ocean and saying goodbye to an old relationship, four-year-olds are in their jammies still, clutching a juice pouch and a half eaten apple. Everyone is called to the water for different reasons and it is a sense of peace like nothing I have ever felt.
Tip Number 5: Get in that water. This is not Maine water people. This is Carolina water and when you dip your feet in it, it just feels right. So don’t make excuses that someone has to sit in the sand and watch the sand toys so they don’t get stolen, or your bathing suit doesn’t look right, or maybe your top isn’t supportive. You just get right in those waves and let them crash over you. Sure your ears might fill with salt water, or someone might sneak a peak of your girls if the water hits you right, but IT IS WORTH IT. Plus the dolphins, did I mention the dolphins? They are swimming just out of reach from you. A few waves up. So here you are, on the beach, with the colors and the peace and the water you brought because you aren’t an idiot and the dolphins. Talk about true freakin joy.
Tip Number 6: Do not take the horse tour. You won’t need too! If you rent a house, namely the Lemon Squeezy one that we stayed at. You will find yourself getting something from your trunk in the early morning and there will be a horse right beside your vehicle, staring you down before they saunter into the road and shit right in the street as Maya Rudolph asked them to do. You are not allowed to touch or feed the horses so don’t be an idiot. This beach is their playground and all you can do is name them and appreciate their beauty. We called ours Bella, and then John after seeing his manly man parts.
Tip Number 7: The beach is not just for the daytime! Take out your flashlights after dark and search for all the ghost crabs. This is not just an activity for kids and everyone will be squealing in delight when you find them. You will also notice protected sea turtle nesting areas with volunteers surrounding them and making sure they are safe. This will make you feel bad about the turkey that you hit in the road a few weeks back, but you also like turtles more than turkeys, so you won’t feel too bad for long.
I could continue on and on about this wonderful week of adventure. I am so grateful to Richard for planning it, for my friends for being understanding of my melt downs and giving me space to work through them, for my kids who won’t always want to vacation with me and for my husband for constantly checking to see if I”m okay, even when he is always a cool cucumber. Please add this vacation to your bucket list and don’t always post or blog about the happy moments. Human moments are human moments and we can all relate!