Terrible Friends

It’s been so long since I wrote, I couldn’t even get the blog site to work for a minute. I had to enlist tech support to get this old relic fired back up, but in the end it’s still kicking. We are just about one month into school and that’s good, or gud depending on how far the kiddo has digressed, spelling took a big hit over quarantine, as did subtraction, as did basic social skills in adults, but hey we are all in it together, in it to win it.

I feel like I need to apologize to all my people for being so terrible lately. Terrible to my family, to my friends, to my work sisters.

I have just been the worst kind of soul sister lately, because I have been putting so much effort into myself, into just existing and it’s really hard to do both. I have been putting on my own oxygen mask first, and that takes a long ass time to do, so after that I haven’t had time to hit the restaurants for the girly drinks, and send all the thoughtful texts, and do drop off banana bread or even the Bad Mom reunion 2020 that I had planned. As it turns out, wearing a mask all day also makes for one tired gal.

But it’s not all bad. It’s good to be doing what I excel at and what I’m good at is conversing with kids. Second graders are the freakin best. The other day I was teaching a lesson on nouns and one of them suggested Donald Trump to go on the list in the “people” section. I closed my eyes as I begrudgingly wrote his name and one of my second graders proclaimed that he WOULD be president, because she had his sign on her lawn… “Will he though???? Because After all a sign is just a sign”. I had to stop myself. I can no longer engage in social media battles or eight-year-old political entanglements. During the same lesson I also couldn’t spell Billie Eilish. As I googled it, another student expressed her disappointment over how terribly I butchered this singers name. “Shouldn’t you be embarrassed Mrs. Grant? You don’t know how to spell her name?”

No. My dear sweet Cindy Lou Who I told her.

I would be ashamed if I didn’t know how to spell Ryan Gosling or Mark Wahlberg, but Billie. She can take her brightly colored hair and get in line behind the rest of them. Because I’m right at the front. That might sound mean and I don’t intend it too, but if there was ever a year to be selfish, 2020 is it. For instance, I don’t go to every birthday and if I do, we have the least original birthday gift, which is in essence a 20 gift card to TJ Max and you get that if you are 3 or 83. Just use it how you will.

I also order what I want at a restaurant and most days the brownie sundae to boot. I work out every morning and most every evening, just to exist the next day and God help you in you interrupt me. I began meditating, which I thought at first was witch craft and now have decided that is as necessary as air. I bathe in all things pumpkin because it brings me great joy and happiness. I also look at all the assignments I send home with the mind frame of will this make their parents want to stab their eyes out with a fork and then I put that assignment in the shredder and I pick a different one.

I give my kids grace to suck and myself grace to suck and sometimes we all suck on the same day and then I just order Thai food and to hell with the rest.

I am also giving myself permission to be a Mom first and a teacher second and I actually made it to a wellness child check up, when 9 times out of 10, my husband does that gig and he does a better job at it, but like I said before I put my own oxygen mask on first and it let me see that my kid is faltering a little with his, and a little with school and everything else and so once I had my mask straightened, I’m hoping I can do a better job at helping him straighten his.

Bottom line. If we are sisters. If we are friends. If we are co-workers. I haven’t been ignoring you. I love you just the same. I love your jokes, and your sarcasm, and I hate whoever you hate and I love whatever drinks you love, whatever your indulgences are, whether they are good or bad I support them. I just needed to support myself and get the foundation good and ready, for hurricane Covid, I hope you understand. I will come back to you when I am solid and the day-to-day isn’t soul sucking. Let’s clink our glasses this week to all those Mom and Dads who are being terrible friends so they can be a good role model for the one looking in the mirror. They say the best project you will ever work on is yourself. Well, I would say, for the month of September, I have earned an A plus plus.