Top Ten Ways to Flatten the Anxiety Curve

I am no psychologist, I am not a therapist or a social worker, although I am related and tight friends with a few that I could refer you too. But what I do know, is that giant B in Apartment 23 titled anxiety. I also know that she is coming out full force during these isolated time and rising right up through the Ursella caged waters. I spent the first week home from work in a sort of dream-like state of euphoria. Oh wow, let’s stay up late kids, we are home together, but don’t worry, Mommy is a teacher and let’s take our time together. By the time the second week rolled around (it usually takes a week for the anxiety cart to fully tip over) I would wake up at 3am and lean over my porch in a full fledge panic attack. I have since discovered some strategies , tools, life rafts, whatever term you prefer, to help manage my anxiety. I would love to hear from you if you have other resources, or even if you think I am crazy af. The first one is and I”m going to bold this for you. KEEP A ROUTINE. Wait what? How can this be? I just lost my routine, you might say. It doesn’t matter. Keep your new routine. If you normally get up early, get up early. If you normally work out in the morning, put on your sneakers and go for a run, or turn on that online workout and flop down on the ground attempting those pushups with that sad looking bra you have had since college. Just get it done. Preferably before the kids get up. Once the kids get up, they will have demands and you will have to yell while you are working out and no one has enough oxygen for that. SO yes, keep that routine, as much as you can. If you like to eat lunch exactly at 11:45 like you did when you were working, eat lunch at 11:45. If you like to scream fight with your husband over the remote at 7:30 , continue to do so!

Number 2- Get those zzzzzz. This one might seem like a no brainer. But you would be surprised how little amount of sleep I got the second week of the Covid universe. I was staying up late watching Netflix shows, binging on brownies, wearing sweat pants, with chocolate syrup on them , like my husband was leaving me for one of my closest girlfriends (don’t leave me Joe). Just no, still go to sleep at a decent hour. I’m not suggesting you should skip that tiger show everyone is raving about, or not snort popcorn into your nose while watching people sing on facebook karaoke. Just don’t walk around your house like Leo Dicaprio in Wolf of Wall Street, screaming to the rooftops.

Number 3- When you feel the world really spinning and I mean your kids are screaming, the dogs are throwing up on the carpet, the internet isn’t working and you can’t figure out the technology you are supposed to be using to get your work done. This is what you do, step into the shower. Turn it on a reasonably comfortable heat and flip the switch so the tub fills up at the same time as the shower. Then once the tub is about half way full. I want you to lay down in the tub and close your eyes. The sounds of the water hitting other the tub water and your over carb’d body is going to squelch whatever it is you feel like you can’t handle. If it’s not working right away try pressing your feet against the bottom of the tub and this pressure along with the shower drops will both work in succession to help you. Now I am only a little over five feet so I fit perfectly in my shower like this, but taller folks let me know if this works for you.

Number 4- Car Sounds- Now if you are in a car and you feel the above happen and you don’t have a shower available this is what you do. Put on an audio book, podcast, whatever is your jam and give that ten minutes to distract your brain. It helps if it is a podcast that you have heard before or if the speakers voice is rather monotone and level.

Number 5 – Stress baking- Have you ever seen that episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Izzy bakes all of the things after her man dies? This is not just built for tv, this works. I swear to god, when I turn my mixer on, something re-wires in my brain and I feel more purposeful, brave and relaxed. I have had to be a little creative with my anxiety baking, since Hannaford is not stocked with all the items I need, but even recipe searching is a good distraction from the media.

Number 6- Board Games and or Puzzles- I don’t normally like board games that much, but my son, who is a barnacle during these dark hours loves them and even though I bitch and moan, I find tackling a puzzle together or playing Jenga is a huge and needed distraction from the world crumpling down around us.

Number 7 – Sensory fix – This may sound weird, but I have certain items around my house that give me a sensory fix when I am feeling my heart race. One is an old tattered blanket that my grandmother game me, another is sweatpants that are actually my husbands and always smell a little like his cologne. He gave them to me because he said they were too “big for him” but that was another story and another fight (spoiler alert, I won). I also have a yankee candle that I light that smells like Starbucks and makes me feel like I am sitting at one of their tables, writing like the hipster I wish I was. Another is a coffee cup that has moldings on the sides that perfectly fits to my smaller than life fingers. The last one and this is also kind of weird is a hand soap and washing my hands under almost can’t stand it hot water for a few minutes at a time. Whatever tools you have that feed the senses also work perfectly to curb the anxiety.

Number 8- Writing – I know, I know not everyone likes to write, not everyone thinks their good at it. A million different excuses. But you guys, the moment I started doing this blog, the second I started carving out time for this outlet and getting my words out. I felt better. I do it for an hour a day, and while that may seem like a long ass time. It is so worth it in a 24 hour day. It helps me to center myself, as cheesy as that sounds and it helps me to spell out exactly how I”m feeling. My husband continues to yell down to the basement, are you writing anything to make us money yet and of course I yell back. This is art, and art is not always money.

Number 9 – People Observing- I know , this is a strange one too. I have found that because my normal day-to-day is so busy I don’t usually have the time to observe my kids, especially as learners. They are so freaking so smart, it is crazy. I will not tell them this of course. I don’t want to raise egomaniac assholes, but they are hella smart. My son is also god damn hilarious. The crap he says to me while we are trying to get his school binder done during the day, blows anything funny I would say or write completely out of the water. He is also curious, and intuitive when he is reading. Always asking questions, always wondering about the world and my daughter is incredibly self sufficient for an 11-year-old. She got her binder from her teacher and she works at it so diligently. She does her reading and writing, she works hard at the math, even though she sucks at it most of the time (sorry Nat) but she is really really self motivated and I am a little in awe watching them. I also love how she takes over and supports him when I am losing my cool. Watching them learn has been really stress reducing for me. I didn’t think it would be doing it the first few days, but we are starting to hit a rhythm with it.

Number 10- Letting go, like a lot. In the beginning I had a schedule typed out, I was super concerned about doing this at a certain time of the day and making sure they read fiction and non-fiction. Now I say I’m putting the timer on, read what brings you joy and you know what my son reads? His WWE character book and if Nat wants to read the life and songs of Taylor Swift have at it girlfriend. If I video chat with my class and only 8 show up out of 20. Cool beans. If two of them run off when we are having discussions to show me their kitty cat, perfect. This was hard for me at first, as a self professed control freak, but it’s getting easier. This one has been super helpful. This letting go. I hope that some of these help you or that you are reaching out to your best people when you need it. These are challenging times and we all just need to stop fighting the waves and go with the tide a little bit. Stay Safe!